


Castiel vs. Fireworks

by Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord



Series: Castiel vs. ? [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Angst (Supernatural), Comforting Dean Winchester, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Fireworks, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Stargazing, Team Free Will (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord/pseuds/Castibella_Shipper_of_the_Lord
Summary: Even in the dimming light Castiel can see the joy in Dean’s eyes. He may no longer have the ability to see souls, but being able to witness those green eyes shining just as brightly is enough for him.“Should start any minute,” Sam’s voice interjects, slightly muffled. He appears behind them with a mound of blankets blocking his face. “I think I brought enough.”“Dude,” Dean chuckles. “Ya think so?” He takes one off the pile and tosses it to Castiel. In the distance there is a loud report, followed by flashes of light. “Here we go!”Castiel is so distracted by the excitement on Dean’s face, it takes him a moment to tear away his gaze to the flashes of colour in the sky.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Castiel vs. ? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762624
Comments: 2
Kudos: 68





	Castiel vs. Fireworks

**Author's Note:**

> Warning (in case you missed the tag): Graphic description of a panic attack

Life as a hunter is rarely rewarding. Sure, they save lives. But Sam, Castiel, and Dean seldom get the chance to enjoy the little things without being interrupted by a haunting or, god forbid, another apocalypse.

On the quiet days, Sam and Dean find new ways to teach their previously angelic friend what it means to be human. They frequently return to the bunker with new foods, movies, or drinks to try.

Castiel looks up at the sound of the bunker door creaking open, cracking a smile at Sam’s struggle down the steps weighed down by bags. Apparently it was one of those days.

“Need any help?” Castiel calls, closing his book.

“I’ve got it,” Sam replies, stumbling on the last step. He rights himself before he overbalances, and turns to grin at his friend. “All this was on sale, can you believe it?”

“All what?” Dean enters from the kitchen and pauses. “Sammy, you went out for _toothpaste. _The hell is all that?”__

____

Sam’s smile fades. “I forgot the toothpaste…”

____

Castiel smothers a laugh, turning it into a cough. “Well, Sam? What did you get?” He moves to take a bag off the map table and shuffles through its contents. Marshmallows, chocolate, sparklers? He gives Sam a bemused glance.

____

“It’s the 4th of July, so I just thought…” The younger Winchester looks sheepish. “Dean, tell him.”

____

“Fireworks, Cas. On the 4th of July people usually pack up a bunch of junk food and blankets and watch fireworks,” Dean says.

____

“Fireworks,” Castiel muses. “I think it sounds nice. I’ve heard about them, but never witnessed a display before.”

____

Dean and Sam grin.

____

“Guess it’s our job to remedy that,” says Dean, reaching into a bag and snagging a bar of chocolate, only to put it back at Sam’s glare.

____

***

____

Hours later, the sun began to set. Dean and Castiel were sitting on the hill near the bunker, facing the direction they knew the fireworks would appear. They could have gone to join everyone else in the celebration, but Castiel got nervous at the idea of crowds. Sam had left to retrieve more blankets.

____

“Have you ever celebrated the 4th of July, Dean?” Castiel breaks the silence, seeming to startle the other man out of his musings.

____

“Only once,” Dean replies. “When Sammy and I were much younger. We moved so much, and dad would never let us stay long enough to do much more than wait to pack our things. So we waited till he left for his hunt and used our spare cash to buy a bunch of cheap fireworks.” He leaned back in his chair, a smile tugging his lips. “It was one of the best moments of my life. Seeing my little brother happy, being away from my dad’s expectations.” Dean sighs. He looks over at Castiel. “I’m glad you agreed to this. I think you’ll really enjoy it.”

____

Even in the dimming light Castiel can see the joy in Dean’s eyes. He may no longer have the ability to see souls, but being able to witness those green eyes shining just as brightly is enough for him.

____

“Should start any minute,” Sam’s voice interjects, slightly muffled. He appears behind them with a mound of blankets blocking his face. “I think I brought enough.”

____

“Dude,” Dean chuckles. “Ya think so?” He takes one off the pile and tosses it to Castiel. In the distance there is a loud report, followed by flashes of light. “Here we go!”

____

Castiel is so distracted by the excitement on Dean’s face, it takes him a moment to tear away his gaze to the flashes of colour in the sky.

____

With every crackle of sound, light explodes into the air, raining down sparks that disappear within seconds. Castiel watches, mesmerized at the display. He will admit the explosions set him on edge slightly. Another firework goes up.

____

_Falling. ___

______ _ _

He blinks, shaking his head.

______ _ _

_Light, falling. Wings burning. ___

________ _ _ _ _

His knuckles go white as he grips a fistful of grass, eyes glued to the sky.

________ _ _ _ _

_Brothers and sisters screaming for help, cries cutting off as they hit the Earth. He can almost smell the scent of burning feathers, almost see their pleading eyes. He couldn’t help them, couldn’t save them. ___

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Cas?”

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_I failed you. It’s all my fault. ___

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_I’m so sorry. ___

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_I’m so sorry. ___

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Cas, listen to me. Whatever you’re remembering, it’s over now.”

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_In the empty cavity his Grace left behind, he can almost feel his family’s hatred. It curdles in his chest, warping and tightening around his now human heart. And he accepts it. He deserves it. ___

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“We’re here. We’re not going anywhere. Can you take some deep breaths, okay? Come back.”

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Castiel opens his eyes, surprised to find them damp. He brushes away stray tears and blinks up at the two blurry figures in front of him. Dean and Sam’s concerned faces slowly come into focus. There are no more flashes above them, nor sudden crashes of noise. It’s silent but for the chirping of crickets.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What happened Cas?” Dean asks quietly. “You looked like you were enjoying yourself, then a switch flipped and you were shaking and almost hyperventilating.”

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Castiel just shakes his head. “I never thought this would happen. I’m sorry.”

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean moves forward, hands out. “No, no. Don’t apologize, it wasn’t an accusation. We were worried about you. And wanted to know what went wrong.”

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“When the fireworks started, they were beautiful, if not startling at first. Then all I could see were my brothers and sisters plummeting from the sky.”

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean murmurs “shit”, then gives Castiel an embarrassed glance. He gestures for Castiel to continue.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I…” Castiel clears his throat, staring at the handfuls of grass he’d unconsciously gouged from the ground in his distress. “Knowing it was my fault. My mistake, condemning them either to death, or into a life they had no choice in…” His voice breaks at the end, and he winces. “I’m sorry.” He doesn’t know if he’s speaking to the Winchesters or his fallen brethren. It doesn’t matter.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Hey.” Dean says forcefully, startling Castiel. “I said don’t apologize, remember? This is not on you. Not the flashbacks, not the angels.” Castiel tries to interject, but gets cut off. “You always do what you think is best. You always try to save everyone. That’s not something you need to change, or be sorry for. It may not always turn out, but we learn from it, and keep moving forward. Okay?” Castiel nods, speechless. Dean gives him a soft smile, then shifts closer so their shoulders bump.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam comes jogging up the hill, thermos in hand.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Sam?” Dean sputters. “When did you even leave, man?” He turns to Castiel, who shrugs back. He hadn’t noticed the departure either.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Thought this would help,” Sam pants, handing the thermos to the ex-angel.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Castiel cradles the warm metal in his hands, then opens the top and takes a sip. Hot chocolate, with a few partially melted marshmallows. He nods his thanks and takes another sip before passing the thermos to Dean.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam gives them a searching look, then starts down the hill again. “You guys have fun, I’m going to watch Supergirl.”

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Don’t you dare spoil it when we come back,” Dean yells at his brother’s retreating back. He settles under the blanket as the tall figure disappears into the bunker.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You know, this night wasn’t an absolute let down,” Castiel murmurs, watching the stars. He can feel Dean’s gaze on him. “I got to spend it with the people I love.” _The person I love, _he doesn’t say aloud. But he knows Dean hears it anyway.__

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Yeah,” Dean says, smile audible in his voice. “That is true.”

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They sit in comfortable silence after that, laying side by side on their blanket. Taking in the stars, and wondering what comes next.

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed *hugs*


End file.
